Loch Ness

To start things off, there is no actual scientific evidence that the Loch Ness Monster exists.  Every single picture you’ve seen is thought to be a fake, sonar efforts don’t turn up much of anything, and incidentally there are monsters reported in other bodies of water around the world that have never showed up with a shred of evidence.  So why do the locals still talk to you about the Monster and their experiences and all the evidence they can’t release for one reason or another?  It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that it’s the only Loch tourists have ever heard of and hence one of the most visited places in Scotland right?  Nah.

To be fair, Loch Ness is a rather lovely body of water-

And deep.  230 meters deep at its deepest point to be precise, meaning it has more water in it than the rest of the lakes in the U.K. combined, because it happens to be along a fault line.  It’s also about 37km long, so why not check out the Loch Ness booze cruise in the evening?image156

A local brew available on the boat that had to be tried once I saw it.  Actually quite tasty!  I also was beside myself by discovering on the same day that there’s an ale in the U.K. called “Fursty Ferret” with pictures of ferrets all around the label.  Just brilliant.

Of course, lest we forget this is a Loch Ness booze cruise.  And how can we cruise around the lake drinking beer with questionable names if we aren’t equipped with sonar to make our intentions look legit and stuff?

The sonar readout- the above picture is actually just the GPS map.  You can see the loch drops off precipitously and if you look very closely in the black part you can see specks which I’m told are fish.  The boat crew also says that a few times a year they get a ping that’s the size of a fingernail, corresponding to an object several meters in size.  Conclude what you want but I never did get a good  explanation as to whether they get false positives with the sonar system.

But perhaps I was too much of a skeptic.  After all, look at this picture I snapped on the cruise-Ohmigawd, it’s proof of the monster!  I mean there is just no way that’s just a decal on the boat’s window lined up with the water!!!

Perhaps I’m coming across as a bit harsh here about the whole thing, as I did talk to a few kind souls who genuinely believe they saw the monster in the loch at some point. (“I saw a hump rising up from the water and disappear within a few seconds, so I don’t have a picture of it.  You think I’m full of shit don’t you?”) To be fair once your skepticism is established I highly recommend saying “stuff it” and going along with pretending there’s a monster down there.  Frankly it’s more fun that way, and what good is traveling if you don’t expose yourself to different viewpoints anyway?

One response to “Loch Ness

  1. First time you’ve definitely been someplace I’ve been! Is that Urquhart Castle in photo #2? I remembering stopping off there 31 years ago….

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